I have trouble feeling secure when I'm by myself. I believe this has contributed to a lot of the social turmoil I've been dealing with lately. to I'm stating here, publicly, on the blag-o-tubes, that I'm going to actively start working on this. It will make me more awesome, and require less of the people around me.
Thanks to those who've helped me identify this.
Had a talk with Alex on the phone about the whole breakup and situation surrounded it. It was actually a good, I've kind of been holding my side of the story in, out of respect or whatever virtue I was using as an excuse from dealing with it. I guess I just didn't want to stirr up drama, turns out I was sturring up myself but not getting it out. But turns out Alex and I still have rapport enough to talk and get this stuff out. To be honest, I was a bit resentful that after the breakup Alex and Amalia were talking and I wasn't talking to either of them. But I feel a release right now that I haven't felt since the break-up.
I want to communicate with Amalia again, I'm not happy having her omitted from my life. When the time comes, I think it will happen. Now that I'm sure it's what I want, I am that much more certain that it will happen.